officialunitedstates:

I want enough influence that I can take down a company with a single post

621 notes

octemberfirst:

abqandnotu:

merosse:

TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR” 

(Source: animalkingd0m)

494,586 notes

meatloves:

the cucumber saga

49,547 notes

lztybrn:

remember way back in 2006 when the wii first came out and then the entirety of the world forgot how to hold onto something with a firm grasp so much that nintendo had to make a shock absorbing condom just so that tvs wouldnt get destroyed when people would end up sending this thing flying at their tvs at 900 miles per hour

125,333 notes

precumming:

intergalacticsloth:

precumming:

precumming:

did you guys follow me cause you liked my blog?

well they def didnt follow you for your looks

image

Did u just diss yourself

image

140,077 notes

ride6artblog:

lwamfhmartiboxdotty9:

Airport staircase in Tokyo, Japan

Its funny because if you fell down these stairs then Pikachu would look like such an asshole.

ride6artblog:

lwamfhmartiboxdotty9:

Airport staircase in Tokyo, Japan

Its funny because if you fell down these stairs then Pikachu would look like such an asshole.

182,650 notes

shialablunt:

fun fact: Michael Cera asked Rihanna if he could slap her ass for real and she said “you can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for real” and he was like alright. and they did the take like 3 times and Michael was like “you’re not hitting me hard enough do it for real” and then she slapped the fuck out of him and threw off his equilibrium so much he had to go lay down in his trailer for like half an hour lmao and that’s the take they used in the movie with no added sound effects 

665,550 notes

thepersonstillknownasmo:

ahkep:

actionables:

the past is a strange place

cops on bikes used to transport criminals like this

image

this guy worked as an alarm for waking people up

image

one wheel motorcycle

image

pin-boys who manually lined pins up

image

baby cage for families who wanted their kids to get enough sunlight

image

zoo-keeper showering a penguin

image

But who woke up the guy that woke everyone else up

Probably the neighbor’s baby-in-a-cage.

(Source: actionables)

126,047 notes

vodka-rivers:

faithhealthlife:

drythroats:

This is the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.

Can’t tell if this is a dog or a fox

cutest dox ive seen

199,806 notes

indigo-incandescent:

twigwise:

hartosexuals-mdk:

Mae Martin is the best! :)

Please do not laminate your queers

do not laminate your queers

(Source: cantcontrolthegay)

408,782 notes

citoyenprouvaire:

things literally everyone, regardless of gender, looks good in:

  • suits
  • lacy lingerie
  • eyeliner

(Source: multifandomblogging)

114,806 notes

eridantherudefish:

oboebandgeek99:

heckacute:

If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

Why the fuck would I do that

its a metaphor you see

252,165 notes

ednons-blog:

jon-snow:

god bless sdcc

that’s fucking awesome planning!

118,942 notes

iandsharman:

notahoe:

my type of public transportation 

“Why were you late in today?”
“Oh, I got tied up on the subway…”

iandsharman:

notahoe:

my type of public transportation 

“Why were you late in today?”

“Oh, I got tied up on the subway…”

286,417 notes